Best Godzilla Movies to Watch If You Like Your Movies...
- With a sober, realistic setting:
GODZILLA (1954)
GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA 2000
GODZILLA (2014)
- With a dark, serious tone:
GODZILLA (1954)
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
GODZILLA (2014)
- With a moral allegory that symbolically reflects the soul of a nation:
GODZILLA (1954)
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
- With a strong stance against nuclear proliferation (or allegory for nuclear proliferation):
GODZILLA (1954)
MOTHRA VS GODZILLA
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
- That warn of the dangers of science run amuck:
GODZILLA (1954)
MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
SON OF GODZILLA
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
GODZILLA VS. MEGAGUIRUS
GODZILLA: TOKYO SOS
- With strong human drama/characters:
GODZILLA (1954)
GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN
MOTHRA VS GODZILLA
INVASION OF ASTRO MONSTER
ALL MONSTERS ATTACK
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA 2000
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
- With strong female characters:
GODZILLA (1954)
MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
GHIDORAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER
INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER
GODZILLA VS. GIGAN
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
GODZILLA 2000
GODZILLA VS. MEGAGUIRUS
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
- With something of an anti-American sentiment:
GODZILLA (1954)
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
- With a unique creative sensibility:
GODZILLA (1954)
MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. HEDORAH
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
-With impressive special effects (for their time and country of origin)
GODZILLA (1954)
MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS
GODZILLA VS. HEDORAH
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
GODZILLA: TOKYO SOS
GODZILLA (2014)
- With great monster vs. monster action:
GODZILLA RAIDS AGAIN
KING KONG VS. GODZILLA
GHIDORAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER
INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS
GODZILLA VS. HEDORAH
GODZILLA VS. GIGAN
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II
GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA: TOKYO SOS
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
-With a fun, campy, humourous sensibility:
KING KONG VS. GODZILLA
EBIRAH, HORROR OF THE DEEP
SON OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. GIGAN
GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. MEGAGUIRUS
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
-With a strong tinge of anti-capitalist sentiment:
MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. GIGAN
GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH
GODZILLA VS. MEGAGUIRUS
-With a heavy spiritual component:
MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
-With a strong environmentalist message:
MOTHRA VS. GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. HEDORAH
GODZILLA VS. MOTHRA
-With a strong sci-fi/outer space/futuristic element:
GHIDORAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER
INVASION OF ASTRO-MONSTER
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS
GODZILLA VS. GIGAN
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II
GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA: TOKYO SOS
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
-With a heavy emphasis on kid-friendliness/family-friendliness:
SON OF GODZILLA
ALL MONSTERS ATTACK
GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
GODZILLA 2000
-With the max number of monsters they could cram in:
DESTROY ALL MONSTERS
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
-With giant robots:
GODZILLA VS. MEGALON
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA
TERROR OF MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II
GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA: TOKYO SOS
-With some espionage/international intrigue elements:
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
-With a strong Japanese military presence:
THE RETURN OF GODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II
GODZILLA VS. SPACEGODZILLA
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
GODZILLA VS. MEGAGUIRUS
GODZILLA, MOTHRA, KING GHIDORAH: GIANT MONSTERS ALL-OUT ATTACK
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA: TOKYO SOS
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
-That pass the Bechdel test:
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. DESTOROYAH
GODZILLA 2000
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
-That feel like a live-action anime:
GODZILLA VS. BIOLLANTE
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA II
GODZILLA AGAINST MECHAGODZILLA
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
-With time travel:
GODZILLA VS. KING GHIDORAH
-With Matthew Broderick, and Jean Russo, and 2 Simpsons voice actors:
GODZILLA (1998)
-With theme songs by Sum 41:
GODZILLA: FINAL WARS
Hey, so that Phase Three announcement, right? Crazy! The Marvel Cinematic Universe has grown leaps and bounds since it began in Iron Man, and now it's this crazy awesome amazing thing that DC Entertainment is totally jealous of
you guys. So, in the spirit of celebrating the roots of this massive
corporate/creative achievement, and to help some folks if they wanna
learn more about all these crazy movie characters suddenly taking over literally all their time and money,
here's a guide to the original comics that most directly inspired the
MCU movies - organized by their various collected forms in book volumes
rather than issue number for easy purchasing at your local book or
comics store! Now, I'm only covering the MCU movies, ie. the movies
produced by Marvel Studios and in continuity with each other, so not
covering the poor superhero souls left behind at other studios. Also I'm totally counting Ang Lee's Hulk as an MCU movie even though it totally doesn't really count, because the script and production for Incredible Hulk began as the sequel to Hulk and
it's story still shows traces of that development even though it turned
into a quasi-reboot while still maintaining the sequel format. Okay?
Okay?
(also I've included links to the pages for these books on the
Chapters/Indigo website, but occasionally these have incorrect synopsis
or cover images displayed, however thanks to the wonder of ISBNs, you
can rest assured the links are to the correct volumes referenced)
EXCELSIOR!
PHASE ONE:
HULK (2004) -
So, Ang Lee's Hulk is
crazy and a weird attempt at a huge multimillion dollar comic book art
movie blockbuster. It's trying to be all things to all people and just
ends up a muddled mess. It's also got a weirdly ADD editing style that
sometimes works and sometimes is insanely distracting. The cast is good,
however, and Lee tried to bring in elements of psychology to the
character as well. The movie's plot isn't based on any of the comics in
particular, and it's depiction of the origin veers wildly from the
comics origin as well (mainly because the comics origin is ridiculous), but I will recommend two books for Hulk fans connected to this movie, however remotely:
- Marvel Masterworks: The Incredible Hulk Volume 1 - This volume collects the complete six-issue run of the originalThe Incredible Hulk series
by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby, before it was cancelled. Yes, the original
Hulk was a commercial failure, only to become a cult classic later and
be revived. This volume contains the classic origin, introducing Bruce
Banner, Betty Ross, General Ross, Glenn Talbot, and Rick Jones. What's
amazing about the original series is how weird it is - how and why
Banner changes into Hulk is changed almost every issue, along with the
format and genre of the series. Lee and Kirby knew they had a good idea
with Hulk, they just didn't know how to sustain him in his own book, so
after this Hulk became a guest player in other series for a while. Sound
familiar? Outside of the origin, the comics here have nothing to do
with Lee's Hulk, but in movies and in comics they're both the place to
start, regardless of how weird they are.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/marvel-masterworks-the-incredible-hulk/9780785137146-item.html
- The Incredible Hulk: Crossroads - This volume, plotwise, has very little to do with Lee's film either, but thematically they
are joined at the hip. Because this volume collects the final issues of
the legendary run of writer Bill Mantlo (creator of Rocket Raccoon) and
artist Sal Buscema on Hulk. And in these issues Mantlo takes the
Hulk into some psychological territory by establishing for the first
time that Bruce Banner was abused as a child by his father, which is a
major element in Lee's film. This established that the Hulk was a
reflection of Banner's own tortured psyche, and not just a biological
response, an idea that definitive Hulk writer Peter David would later
run with in his epic run sometime later.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/incredible-hulk-crossroads/9780785184485-item.html
IRON MAN (2008) -
The
first Iron Man movie established something of a trend for the MCU in
terms of not so much adapting existing storylines wholesale, but mixing
and matching what elements they wanted from prominent runs and stories.
The first Iron Man not only adapts his origin from the comics, favouring
the updated version of the origin from Extremis over the
original Vietnam version, but also covers his battles with the Iron
Monger as well as his coming out as a superhero, and his friendship with
James Rhodes. Two books best suit the interest of fans of the first
Iron Man movie:
- Marvel Masterworks: The Invincible Iron Man Volume 1
- Most of the stories in this volume are bizzare Silver Age nonsense,
but the origin by Stan Lee and Don Heck still forms the core of the
character and his world, and these early tales give you Iron Man's
technological evolution from the big bulky grey suit to the classic red
and gold. The stories are mostly short and to the point, as Iron Man was
merely a feature in Tales of Suspense at this time and had yet to
warrant his own series. Also there's the first appearances of Happy Hogan, Pepper Potts and even the Mandarin. The real one.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/marvel-masterworks-the-invincible-iron/9780785145677-item.html
- Iron Man: Iron Monger
- This collection brings you the climactic finale of Denny O'Neil's run
on Iron Man, with superb art by Mark Bright. Basically, Obadiah Stane
has taken over Stark Industries, perfected his own armor, and ruined
Tony Stark's life - elements that should sound familiar to movie fans.
Now they battle to the ultimate finish in the series' 200th issue. It's
pretty fucking awesome.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/iron-man-iron-monger/9780785142607-item.html
THE INCREDIBLE HULK (2008) -
The
second Hulk movie was a soft reboot, picking up from where the first
left off with a new cast. Most of the inspiration for the film's tone
was from the classic 1970s Hulk TV show, although many characters from
the comics were included. Emil Blonsky became the Abomination, and they
set up Doc Samson and The Leader, although I doubt we'll ever see those
threads picked up because it now seems unlikely that Marvel will revist
the Hulk's solo series. The movie took some inspiration from a few
different comics series, here's what I'd recommend for fans:
- Hulk: Gray - Part of Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale's "Colours" trilogy of graphic novels, which re-examined the early days of Marvel. Hulk: Gray brings
us a retelling of the origin, but focused on Hulk's relationship to
Betty Ross. Several scenes from the graphic novel were re-created in the
film.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/hulk-gray/9780785113461-item.html
- Marvel Masterworks: The Incredible Hulk Volume 3 - A collection covering the years after Jack Kirby stopped drawing Hulk and the character transitioned from a feature in Tales to Astonish
and into his second solo series, these tales by Stan Lee and a who's
who of late 60s Marvel talent are notable in this context for featuring
the first appearance of the Abomination.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/marvel-masterworks-the-incredible-hulk/9780785167624-item.html
- The Rampaging Hulk Volume 2 - The Rampaging Hulk, later retitled to just The Hulk!,
was a large size black and white comics magazine specifically designed
to cash in on the success of the seventies television show, and thus ape
it's style. Especially in it's second half, collected in this volume,
the comic focused on isolated human interest stories with a minimum of
involvement from the rest of the Marvel universe, capturing the TV
series tone that the 2008 movie was also trying to capture.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/essential-rampaging-hulk-volume-2/9780785142553-item.html
IRON MAN 2 (2010) - Iron Man 2 continued
the mishmash approach of the first film, taking inspiration from a host
of Iron Man tales across the entirety of the character's existence.
That said, these elements were united in that almost all of them
originated in the works of David Michelinie and Bob Layton, who produced
definitive runs on the character in the 70s and 80s. Picking up an Iron
Man comic with their names on it is a surefire guarantee of a good
read.
- Marvel Masterworks: The Invincible Iron Man Volume 2
- This is another collection of old school Stan Lee and Don Heck Iron
Man stories, but I'm including it because it has the first appearances
of Anton Vanko (the Crimson Dynamo) and Natasha Romanova (the Black
Widow), both of whom feature in the movie. This volume also has the
first appearance of Hawkeye, and some more awesome Mandarin stories. Too
bad the Mandarin never appeared in an Iron Man film.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/marvel-masterworks-the-invincible-iron/9780785159070-item.html
- Iron Man by Michelinie, Layton and Romita Jr. Omnibus
- So probably among the best Iron Man comics of all time are those by
David Michelinie and Bob Layton, and holy shit here's their entire first
run on the character collected in one massive tome! Awesome! Here we
have appearances by Whiplash, Justin Hammer, and the first appearance of
James Rhodes. These stories developed Tony Stark into one of Marvel's
best characters, and see Hammer's attempts to destroy Tony's life and
business, as well as the government's first attempt to buy out Tony and
his inventions after he stops building weapons. This volume also
includes the legendary "Demon in a Bottle" storyline which dealt with
Tony's alcoholism and forever defined the character -- a storyline that
will never be in the movies because Disney decreed it so.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/iron-man-by-michelinie-layton/9780785167129-item.html
- Iron Man: Armor Wars -
None of the Iron Man films have truly adapted the character's best
storyline, which is "Armor Wars" from Michelinie and Layton's second run
on the character. Nonetheless, the basic brush strokes of the story -
that of Justin Hammer's war against Stark, and Stark's neverending
battle to ensure his technology doesn't fall into the wrong hands - form
the core of the second movie's story and themes.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/iron-man-armor-wars/9780785125068-item.html
- Iron Man: War Machine - And for all the Rhodey fans out there, here's the first appearance of War Machine!
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/iron-man-war-machine/9780785131328-item.html
THOR (2011) - The
first Thor movie doesn't really adapt anything specific storylines from
the comic apart from the origin, but it does serve as an introduction
to Thor's world, his supporting cast, and his enemies, and as such,
really only one book can be recommended to support it:
- The Mighty Thor Omnibus Volume 1 - This massive tome collects the first third, only the first third, of
Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's original run on Thor. Nonetheless, it is
sufficient to introduce us to Thor, Donald Blake (his unused secret
identity), Jane Foster, Asgard, the Frost Giants, Odin, Sif, the
Warriors Three, the Destroyer, Heimdall, the Bifrost, and of course that
fucker Loki. These are fucking great comics, and yet they don't even
scratch the surface of what Kirby would eventually achieve with the
character.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/the-mighty-thor-volume-1/9780785149736-item.html
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER (2011) - The
first Captain America was, in my opinion, the first MCU movie that
really revelled in being "comic-booky". Set entirely within Cap's World
War II timeframe, it naturally took the most inspiration from the
character's classic Golden Age adventures. Fans of this film have two
tomes on their recommendation list:
- The Golden Age Captain America Omnibus Volume 1
- This volume collects the entire original run on Captain America by
his creators Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, with some later stories by Stan
Lee and Al Avison. These were comics about World War II, during World
War II, and it shows! They are very patriotic and propagandistic, with
tons of Nazi fighting and racial stereotypes, but they're also a ton of
fun and have loads of creative energy. Simon and Kirby would leave Cap
after only ten issues, but the character would continue on throughout
the entire war as Timely Comics' most popular character. In this volume
we first meet Cap, Bucky, the Red Skull, and supertough secret agent
Betsy Ross, retconned in later Marvel Comics into Peggy Carter.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/golden-age-captain-america-omnibus/9780785168072-item.html
- Captain America Omnibus Volume 1
- This book covers Cap's modern age revival and integration into the
rest of the Marvel Universe under the creative auspices of Stan Lee and
Jack Kirby in the 1960s. Although set outside of Cap's WWII setting from
the first movie, these stories not only modernized the character, they
also contain many retroactive flashbacks, as well as featuring the
return of the Red Skull and introducing for the first time the Cosmic
Cube, an artifact of great power known in the movie as the Tesseract.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/captain-america-omnibus-volume-1/9780785150787-item.html
THE AVENGERS (2012) -Holyshit so The Avengers
is a pretty awesome movie and a near perfect representation of
superhero comics on the big screen and pretty much everyone liked it and
it made a billion dollars, here's some comics for you to read:
- Marvel Masterworks: The Avengers Volume 1 -
It's the origin of the team, their coming together to defeat Loki, the
awakening of Captain America in the modern world, and other cool early
stories by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. Hulk sure doesn't stick around long,
does he?
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/marvel-masterworks-the-avengers-volume/9780785137061-item.html
- The Ultimates
- This modernized alternate take on the Avengers gave a lot of
inspiration to the modernized portrayal of the team in the MCU, even if
it veers a little too far into an OTT attempt to be "mature" at times.
Here we got Cap waking up, the team coming together, a lot of
unnecessary sex and violence, Black Widow and Hawkeye coming in, a black
Sam Jackson looking Nick Fury, and a Chitauri invasion.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/ultimates-volume-1/9780785110828-item.html
PHASE TWO:
IRON MAN 3 (2013) -
Iron Man 3
continued to take bits and pieces from various Iron Man runs that
suited it, with elements from the works of Michelinie/Layton, John
Byrne, Joe Quesada, Warren Ellis and Adi Granov, and others. That said,
while it leans more heavily on the comics in some areas, it greatly
diverges in others.
- Iron Man: Extremis - Of course, the biggest inspiration on Iron Man 3 is Extremis,
and indeed Warren Ellis and Adi Granov's storyline was a massive
influence on the entire Iron Man trilogy in terms of the depiction of
the character of Tony Stark and the visual depiction of Iron Man.
However, while the movie uses characters, situations, and basic premises
from the arc, it diverges heavily in terms of plot.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/iron-man-extremis/9780785183785-item.html
- Iron Man: Armor Wars II
- The sequel to Armor Wars forms the first arc in John Byrne's run on
Iron Man with artist John Romita Jr. The storyline isn't used much at
all in the movie, but the central idea of remote control Iron Man suits
sure as hell is. The next arc of John Byrne's run would be a wicked
sweet Mandarin storyline that was totally badass. Too bad Marvel never
used the Mandarin in any of its Iron Man movies.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/iron-man-armor-wars-ii/9780785145578-item.html
THOR: THE DARK WORLD (2013) - Having
mined what they dared from Jack Kirby's epic tenure on Thor, the second
movie took inspiration from the other writer/artist to make a
definitive mark on the character: Walt Simonson. Unfortunately, like the
first movie, the sequel flirts with being awesome rather than just
going all out for it. Here's some fucking amazing comics that this movie
took some stuff from:
CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER (2014) -
The second Captain America
flick continued Marvel's Phase Two trend of taking more direct
inspiration from specific comic book storylines, although it still mixed
and matched elements in order to deliver a storyline that worked for
the burgeoning movie universe's needs, instead of slavishly following
the comics versions.
- Captain America: The Winter Soldier
- Holyshit, who could've guessed? While the plot of this hugely
significant story arc from 2005 differs quite a bit from it's movie
"adaptation", the basic throughline in terms of the character of the
Winter Soldier and his revelations are more or less the same. It's a
pretty great storyline and it lead to a pretty great movie.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/captain-america-winter-soldier-ultimate/9780785143413-item.html
- Captain America and the Falcon: The Secret Empire
- Mike Friedrich and Steve Engelhart bring us this classic 1970s tale
of conspiracy and paranoia. While again the plot is very different from
the Winter Soldier film, the movie took its tone of a government out to
get Cap and the sudden lack of anyone to trust from this well-regarded
arc. Also, it's got Falcon in it! And he's pretty cool.
http://www.chapters.indigo.ca/books/captain-america-and-the-falcon/9780785118367-item.html
GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (2014) -
Not
gonna lie, I'd never even heard of these assholes before they got their
own movie. Made up of a bunch of different characters who had already
existed in the cosmic Marvel universe, they were forged into a team by
Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning in the aftermath of the "Annihilation:
Conquest" event, and quickly deemed awesome enough to make a movie about
I guess.
AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON (2015) -
Granted,
Avengers 2 isn't out yet, so it's hard to say with certainty what I'd
recommend. But what we do know for certain is that Ultron, Scarlet
Witch, Quicksilver, and the Vision are involved, and that while it
shares a title with the recent "Age of Ultron" storyline, it doesn't
actually share plot with it. So here's what I'd recommend you read to
get yourself caught up based on what we do know:
Well, that's all for me for today. I'll update this page with Phase Three related recommendations one day, maybe.
So, I first started thinking about this insane, implausible,
hypothetical question after Spider-Man 3 came out and I got really
burned on the Sam Raimi Spider-Man movies and realized I didn't really
like any of them that much. None of them truly got Spider-Man, in
my opinion. Yes, even that one you really like. So I started thinking
"if they were to reboot Spider-Man in, like, ten or fifteen years, how
should they do it?"
And then they rebooted Spider-Man, like, five
years later instead and I was all "oh. That sucked." Then ASM2 came out
and everyone hated it, although I liked it quite a bit. I actually felt
ASM2 negated a lot of the things I hated about ASM1, and incorporated a
lot of the stuff I would've done in my hypothetical reboot anyway. But
everyone else hated it, and it didn't perform to expectation at box
office, and now it's super super clear Sony has no clue what they're
doing with the franchise.
And now there's these
talks of maybe yes, maybe no, who knows, maybe Spider-Man coming into
the MCU fold. Which would be awesome. But how would they do it? Is there
time enough to do it for Civil War? Would it continue from the Amazing
series or reboot again? Will it even happen? Who knows, but it got me
thinking about this hypothetical again.
So yeah, how would I do a Spider-Man movie series if it were up to me?
Well,
first up, Peter's already Spider-Man when we start. Obvs. We really,
really, don't need to see him get bit by a radioactive/genetically
modified spider and get Uncle Ben killed again. We just don't.
So
in the first movie (The Amazing Spider-Man), Peter's been Spider-Man
all through high school, already having adventures, already working
freelance at the Bugle, etc. And instead we start with him going into
University. Basically I think the best way to go would be to adapt the
plot of Amazing Spider-Man #31-33, which is the best Spider-Man story
anyway, and has never been used for any of the movies. As part of the
original Lee/Ditko run, this story arc really feels like the culmination
of Spider-Man and of Peter's character arc of growing up and learning
to take responsibility and be a hero. But in the overall context of
fifty years of Spider-Man comics it also feels like the start of a new
chapter. Peter enters into university on a science scholarship, with his
old bully Flash entering on a football scholarship, but he also meets a
bunch of new characters like Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn, and Mary Jane
for the first time. Because in the original high school, none of those
three went to high school with Peter. Also, the central character arc of
that story, ending with the amazingly spectacular #33, forms enough of
an arc to really do the job of a "hero's journey" arc without going
through the origin again. It's the story where the boy becomes the man,
essentially.
So we can meet these new characters, set
them up, and have Peter battle Doc Ock and get buried under that debris
and have to metaphorically lift the weight of the world off his
shoulders to save his friends all like in those original comics. If
you've never read them, do so. It's great. I'd also incorporate bits of
other issues, like #37, #42 and #43, to establish characters like Harry,
Norman Osborn, and MJ more fully, and also establish Peter and Gwen's
relationship in this movie, as well as the death of her father at the
hands of Doc Ock in ##88-90, because that fits with Ock as the villain
of #31-33 and serves as a good emotional suckerpunch, similar to what
was done in ASM1 but handled better. But #31-33 would be the spine of
it. So by the end of the first movie, Peter's dating Gwen, has met MJ
but she's dating Harry, and he's in University, has fought Doc Ock, who
has killed Captain Stacy, but Spider-Man is blamed for it, so the Bugle
has started a whole "Spider-Man's a Menace" hate campaign.
And
this is the thing I felt the Raimi movies really botched. They portray
JJJ's hatred of Spidey as the lone voice of a crazy person, while we're
shown that on the whole NYC LOVES Spider-Man. Which makes Pete's "the
world's against me, why bother" stuff in the second movie so hollow
compared to the issue it's adapting, #50. In the comics, the Bugle is
riding on public opinion, and taking advantage of it. JJJ's editorials
really sway people. People don't like Spider-Man, they really think he's
a bad guy. And that's the point. The idea is that the media sways the
public and the public hates the hero, but the hero KEEPS being a hero
ANYWAY, because that's the right thing to do.
So
anyways, the second movie (The Spectacular Spider-Man). It would be the
big Green Goblin flick. Norman becomes the Goblin, discovers
Spider-Man's identity, goes crazy, Harry od's on drugs, and Norman
kidnaps Gwen and kills her. Basically it'd be a condensed version of
Amazing Spider-Man #39-40, Spectacular Spider-Man #2, Amazing #96-98,
and #121-122, maybe incorporating a bit from #50 as well, although that
was done in Raimi's second film. By the end of it, Norman's dead,
Harry's crazy, Gwen's dead, and MJ is the only one left to comfort Peter
and be his friend.
Ultimately both movies would end
similar to the existing Amazing Spider-Man movies, with the deaths of
the Stacys, but be structured more cohesively with a better emotional
throughline through each -- ie, Gwen dies at the hands of the main
villain of the second film, instead of a crazy side villain who shows up
just to kill her.
Where things get a little messier in
my head would be what the third film would be about, but the thing is, I
don't see Spider-Man as being a "trilogy". The third film wouldn't wrap
everything up in a bow. To me, Spider-Man could be ongoing as long as
it needs to be. Heck, I even truly think the Amazing series could redeem
itself in a third entry (I liked Amazing 2, after all), and I'd have no
problem with Andrew Garfield in the MCU as is. But looking at Spidey
and just Spidey, and purely on a hypothetical, this is how I see it.
But
to me, the third film (Web of Spider-Man) would essentially be the
Roger Stern/Tom DeFalco era of Spider-Man. The new, mysterious,
Hobgoblin shows up, casting a spectre over Peter. The Kingpin is
involved in the background, with him and his subordinate the Rose
seemingly pulling the Hobgoblin's strings. Peter and MJ's romance
continues, and she reveals she knows he's Spider-Man. But the Black Cat
also shows up, complicating things -- Peter's all excited by her, but
Cat only loves Spider-Man, not Peter Parker, while MJ accepts him for
his true self, even if she doesn't like the risks he takes as
Spider-Man. Peter gets the black symbiote suit, and slowly realizes over
the course of the movie that it's trying to kill him/feed off him/etc.
Harry takes over Oscorp, but is clearly kind've fucked up. Is he the
Hobgoblin, or is it someone else? After the climatic battle with the
Hobgoblin, Peter finally frees himself of the black suit in the church.
He proposes to MJ and she says yes. Roughly this would be all based on
#238-239, #244-245, #249-252, #258-261, #284-292, Annual #21, Web of
Spider-Man #1, the Hobgoblin Lives miniseries, and the related black
suit, Black Cat, and MJ subplots from that time, but all very much pared
down and streamlined, because as good as they were, the Spidey comics
of that era were sometimes a confused mess being pulled between
different directions, writers and editors. But I'd like it if it ended
with the black suit "gone", and Peter and MJ married, and the Hobgoblin
defeated and unmasked (as Roderick Kingsley, as it should be).
So,
a fourth movie (Peter Parker: Spider-Man)? Well, that's where you bring
in Venom. It's the Michelinie/McFarlane era of Spidey! Peter and MJ are
newlyweds, Eddie Brock gets the symbiote, and you base it on #300, and
#315-318. It'd be pretty straightforward, but you could incorporate many
of the subplots of the era, as well as continuing some from the third
movie, to pad things out, chief among them being Harry learning that
Peter is Spider-Man and killed his dad, as well as keeping stuff like
the Kingpin alive in the background. You could also end it on a
cliffhanger setting up Carnage, if you really wanted to.
A
fifth movie (Sensational Spider-Man?) to me would be where I'd want to
end it. Harry becomes the second Green Goblin, and fights and defeats
the "pretender" Hobgoblin, loosely based on #314, wrapping up that
storyline. I'd have Aunt May die, based on Amazing #400, and I'd have MJ
announce she's pregnant, which happened in Spectacular #220, and then
Peter and Harry have their final battle and Harry dies, as in
Spectacular #200. Maybe Carnage as a secondary villain (#361-363?)
So
yeah, things are a little messier after that second movie idea. The
third feels really packed, but hard to seperate its' threads, while the
fourth and fifth feel a little light, but I strongly believe that the
symbiote costume should be introduced, worn and discarded by Spider-Man
in one movie, and become Venom in another, and I really feel
Harry-as-Green-Goblin should be it's own A-story as well. So, I dunno. A
sixth movie? Jesus! Um....
....
...Clone Saga???
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm pleased to announce that in addition to my ongoing look at the Golden Age Batman in Bat to the Beginning, which recently started looking at the influential but problematic Batman serial, and my series of Silver Age Iron Man reviews at All Jets Ablaze!,
I will be launching a new series of reviews and analyses!
Focused on the "New Look" era of Batman comics from 1964-1969, Holy Retro Reviews, Batman! will examine the wonderful Silver Age era of Batman comics when editor Julius Schwartz and artist Carmine Infantino restored the character's popularity after years of shoddy sci-fi storytelling. These energetic, stylish and modern tales eventually served as the primary inspiration for the classic 1966-1968 Batman television series starring Adam West and all of its resultant spin-offs.
It's a very cool, exciting era in Batman history and I hope you'll enjoy looking back on it with me as much as I do. So watch out for new reviews of Batman, Detective Comics, World's Finest, and The Brave and the Bold in the Silver Age, along with reviews of the Adam West show as well, at this new site.
To be updated with more examples as I can think of them.
Dates are Anno Domini/Common Era unless otherwise noted.
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA
Skyward Sword
The Minish Cap
Four Swords
Ocarina of Time - Split into three timelines after this (A, B, C)
B) Majora's Mask
A) A Link to the Past, B) Twilight Princess, C) The Wind Waker
A) Oracle of Ages & Oracle of Seasons, C) Phantom Hourglass
A) Link's Awakening
A) A Link Between Worlds, B) Four Swords Adventures, C) Spirit Tracks
A) The Legend of Zelda
A) The Adventure of Link
METROID
2075 CC (Cosmic Calendar) - Metroid/Metroid: Zero Mission
2076 - Metroid Prime
2076 - Metroid Prime: Hunters
2077 - Metroid Prime 2: Echoes
2078 - Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
2079 - Metroid II: The Return of Samus
2079 - Super Metroid
2080 - Metroid: Other M
2081 - Metroid: Fusion
CASTLEVANIA
1094 - Castlevania: Lament of Innocence
1450 - Castlevania Legends
1476 - Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse
1479 - Castlevania: Curse of Darkness
1576 - Castlevania: The Adventure
1591 - Castlevania II: Belmont's Revenge
1691 - Castlevania/Vampire Killer/Haunted Castle/Super Castlevania IV/Castlevania Chronicles
1698 - Castlevania II: Simon's Quest
1748 - Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance
1792 - Castlevania: Rondo of Blood/Castlevania: Dracula X/Castlevania: The Dracula X Chronicles
1797 - Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
180X - Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia
1830 - Castlevania: Circle of the Moon
1844 - Castlevania: Legacy of Darkness
1852 - Castlevania 64
1897 - Bram Stoker's Dracula
1917 - Castlevania: Bloodlines
1944 - Castlevania: Portrait of Ruin
2035 - Castlevania: Aria of Sorrow
2036 - Castlevania: Dawn of Sorrow
-- The (POS) "Lords of Shadow" games take place in a new, rebooted continuity--
1047 - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow
1073-1103 - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - Mirror of Fate
2057 - Castlevania: Lords of Shadow 2
METAL GEAR
1964 - Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater/Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence
1970 - Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops
1974 - Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
1975 - Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes
1984 - Metal Gear Solic V: The Phantom Pain
1995 - Metal Gear
1998 - Snake's Revenge
1999 - Metal Gear 2: Solid Snake
2002 - Metal Gear: Ghost Babel
2005 - Metal Gear Solid/Metal Gear Solid: Integral/Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes
2009 - Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty/Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance
2014 - Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots
2016 - Metal Gear Acid
2017 - Metal Gear Acid 2
2018 - Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
ASSASSIN'S CREED
The framing story of Desmond Miles takes place entirely between September and December 2012.
1190 - Assassin's Creed: Altair's Chronicles
1191 - Assassin's Creed
1192 - Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines
1476-1499 - Assassin's Creed II
1499-1507 - Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood
1511-1512 (1190-1257) - Assassin's Creed: Revelations
1712-1725 - Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
1753-1783 - Assassin's Creed III
1765-1777 - Assassin's Creed: Liberation
In crafting an historical drama, a filmmaker walks a very fine line. By following history too closely, a filmmaker risks alienating an audience with incomprehensible period details or boring them with a story that features no real structure and is simply an account of events. But, if the filmmaker strays from history too far in the dramatization, then it begs the question of why tell a historical film at all, and also disrespects the peoples and cultures represented in the work.
On the one side of that spectrum we may find films such as Tora Tora Tora, which excellently depicts the attack on Pearl Harbor in 1941 CE with near documentary accuracy, but lacks a strong narrative focus that allows the audience to care about what they are seeing on a level beyond the intellectual. On the other, we may find a film like Braveheart, which is more like a remake of Spartacus set in Scotland than a story with any resemblance to that of William Wallace and his rebellion (1297-1305).
It is with these truths in mind of the precarious balance between historical accuracy and narrative efficacy in dramatic storytelling that we must view Ridley Scott's 1992 film 1492: Conquest of Paradise. A big budget Hollywood telling of the voyages of Christopher Columbus to the Bahamas, it is a film that was clearly executed with much care to historical accuracy, has excellent production values and cast, carries the standard excellent visual flair of a Ridley Scott film, a superb score from Vangelis, and is without a doubt the best Christopher Columbus film ever made. And yet...
The historical character of Christopher Columbus, or Christoffa Corombo as he was born in 1450 in the Republic of Zêna (Genoa), is a highly problematic one. Columbus has long been regarded as a national hero of the United States of America, venerated for discovering the American continent and also proving that the Earth was round in the process. This tale is commonly told in US primary schools, and Columbus Day is celebrated on October 12.
Yet the true historical Columbus is very far from the mythical one. For one thing, he did not "discover" America, as of course there were many native peoples all ready living there, having crossed over from Asia from the Bering Strait some 15,000-20,000 years ago. For another, he was not even the first European to have done so, Norse seaman having founded colonies in Greenland and Newfoundland as early as 986. He was not even the first European of his time to reach the mainland -- the continent of America having been discovered by Amerigo Vespucci a few years later (hence the name). And finally, the idea that he proved the Earth round to a superstitious culture which believed it to be flat is a myth invented by Washington Irving in his fanciful 1828 biography of Columbus.
But most problematic is perhaps not the voyage of discovery itself, but Columbus' governorship of the island colony he called Hispaniola thereafter. Columbus was, by all accounts, a tyrant, guilty of slavery, murder, torture, mutilation, and genocide on a scale that disgusted even his contemporaries in Spain.
So, if one is to do a movie about Columbus, how to approach such things? Previous films about the explorer, such as 1949's Christopher Columbus, embraced the patriotic myth and showed the Genoese navigator as a charming swashbuckling adventurer. In addition to Ridley Scott's 1492, two other films were released in the 500th anniversary year of his voyage - Christopher Columbus: The Discovery by John Glen and The Magic Voyage, a German animated film.
The Discovery embraces the myth of Columbus, and is also in all respects, just a very bad movie -- featuring a performance by Marlon Brando as Grand Inqusitor Tomás de Torquemada so phoned in that Roger Ebert said he wished he could "hang up". The Magic Voyage is a terrible piece of claptrap, the worst kind of "children's entertainment" which turns Columbus into a kind of goofy comic character "suitable" for children.
So how does 1492 approach it's central character? The film is by far and away the best of any on it's topic in terms of quality, and even in terms of history it stands head and shoulders above the others. But Scott made the decision that he wanted to portray Columbus heroically - a tragic hero yes, one capable of human faults, but still as a hero. This makes sense from a narrative point of view, but becomes increasingly problematic in terms of historical accuracy as the story goes on - you're left with three choices: glorifying Columbus' actions as governor, whitewashing to one degree or another, or ignoring them altogether.
Scott wants to romanticize Columbus, because he wants to tell the story of a dreamer, of a man who defied the conventions of his society to achieve something more, something thought impossible. Although he may not realize it, what Scott wants to do is tell a Randian story, with a Randian hero: that is, a hero who is smart, capable, and achieves something new despite the opposition of the world he lives in.
Unfortunately, the historical Columbus was not really that kind of man, and so Scott must shift historical facts in order to portray him as one. Whether this makes 1492 a bad movie or not depends on how far along the earlier discussed scale it falls. To a certain extent, shifting facts to make a better story is expected of any historical drama - but in a case of Christoffa Corombo, it becomes very, very problematic if shifted too far.
After watching the movie, I am not sure how to judge it. While at times it becomes cartoonish and melodramatic, it is for the most part very effective, very realistic feeling, and very entertaining. One feels this is the best picture we may ever have of these momentous events on film. And yet, it strays further and further from the facts as it goes on.
So, I have decided to herein chronicle the historical inaccuracies as I found them watching the movie, along with any necessary notes, to let anyone who reads them and watches the movie decide for themselves if Scott went too far in altering the facts. I still think that if one is to watch a Columbus movie, 1492 is the most worthwhile pick -- but if one watches the movie and reads these notes, then at least it's possible to get an idea of the whole story.
It must be noted, before I begin, that I am no historian. I have had a lifelong interest in history, my aunt is an historian, and I took a couple of history courses in university, but in fact I consider myself a filmmaker. That puts me more on Scott's side than against it in terms of occupational bias. I understand the need to alter and adapt to create a better narrative. I have made no distinction between "nitpicking", ie. minor historical errors that do not effect story, and notes of major inaccuracies and falsehoods. And I will also fully admit that almost all of the historical facts I am about to note came from Wikipedia. That means that maybe I am not entirely accurate either, but it also means that nothing of what I'm noting is obscure trivia, but pretty commonly agreed upon and widely known facts.
So, follow along with me as I recount the failings, trivial and major, of 1492: Conquest of Paradise.
~~~~
- We're in trouble from the moment the introductory text begins, wherein Scott claims the Spanish Inquisition persecuted men for "daring to dream" -- the Inqusition didn't really care about scientists or dreamers, it's target was converted Jews and Muslims, and it's goal was the expulsion of those faiths from Spain and the establishment of Catholic hegemony. Columbus didn't "challenge this power" -- he was a devout Catholic and did not come before the Inquisition, and he was not "driven by a sense of destiny". But Scott obviously feels that he must from the beginning set up the idea of Columbus as a heroic outsider to society's norms.
- "No man dared to venture" across the western Ocean Sea (as the Atlantic was then called) -- in fact the Europeans of the 1490s knew people had sailed west before. While the Viking expeditions to "Vinland" were not as well known in the mainstream Christian world, the "Island of St. Brendan" was a well known legend since the 9th century of a mythical journey of Catholic monks from Ireland to an island in the Atlantic in 512.
- The Myth of the Flat Earth: all educated men (priests, navigators, cartographers, philosophers, etc) knew the Earth was round. Indeed, globes and maps with a round Earth survive from this time period and a spherical Earth was the basis of all martime navigation -- this was known since at least the 4th century BC.
- It bears mentioning that as Columbus was Genoese, his accent should be more Italian than French, although Genoese has aspects of both. In Genoese his name is Christoffa Corombo, however he signed his name in Latin as Christophorus Columbus - in Italian he is called Cristoforo Colombo, in Portuguese Cristóvão Colombo, and in Spain he was known as Cristóbal Colón.
- The movie accurately portrays Columbus' belief that Japan was 3,000 miles west of the Canary Islands. He based this on the writings of Marinus of Tyre (who incorrectly judged the size of the Earth) and Abū al-ʿAbbās Aḥmad ibn Muḥammad ibn Kathīr al-Farghānī or Alfraganus of Baghdad -- but did not realize Alfraganus was using the longer Arabic mile rather than the shorter Roman one. Columbus was less of a visionary navigator than he was an incompetent one. The use of a Muslim source would be problematic to his position, but the movie instead paints the Jewish Ezras as the potential problem -- Columbus took nothing of his theory from Ezras, who was a biblical scribe, not a cartographer.
- Catholic priests at the Inquisition in Cordoba are shown doing Last Rites in Spanish when all Catholic rites would be in Latin until after 1965.
- The film tries to make it seem like it is superstition and ignorance that drives the monks of Salamanca to reject Columbus, but in fact they are totally right to laugh at him. I mean, Columbus thought that the distance from Spain to Cipangu (Japan) was 3,000 miles! He maintained until he died the belief that the native peoples of the Bahamas were Indians and that Cuba was a peninsula of China! The monks knew from the writings of Aristotle and Ptolemy that Asia was much farther than that as the Greeks had calculated the circumference of the Earth with great accuracy centuries ago - the issue was more that the felt no European ship of the time could cross such a distance because of issues of supplies and provisions. Not funding such an enterprise was the most rational decision in the world. Columbus landed at the Bahamas not because he was a visionary, but because he got lucky.
- Columbus calls the Kingdom of China one of the richest in the world, but the name China would not be recorded by westerners until 1516. Columbus would have known it as "Cathay."
- Columbus' son Diogo (Diego) is portrayed as a priest/monk, but I could find no evidence he ever was one (if he was he definitely must have renounced it by 1500).
- Martín Alonso Pinzón did not meet Columbus until after his journey was approved by the Crown -- he was an experienced mariner who Columbus promised half the profits to in order to get access to his ships and his men as Christoffa could not otherwise convince any experienced seamen to sail with him.
- Pinzón did not introduce Columbus to Luis de Santángel. Santángel was Queen Isabella's finance minister and intervened in January 1492 to convince Isabella to fund Columbus otherwise Christoffa was going to take his idea to Charles VIII of France. Santángel and Isabella's treasurer Gabriel Sanchez believed that while it was unlikely that Columbus would return, it was worth the attempt because Spain otherwise had no trade routes to the East thanks to interference from Portugal and the Turks, and the Kingdom badly needed the funds after the costly war to drive the Moors from Spain. The movie vastly glosses over these motivations.
- Luis would've thought the sack of Granada tragic not for cultural reasons but for financial ones -- the eight month siege had been expensive and its cost was the main reason the Crown of Castile and Aragon had not funded Columbus' voyage earlier. Luis himself was a Jew forced to convert by the Inquistion.
- In the movie Columbus' demands are rejected by Gabriel Sanchez but Isabella has him called back. In history it was Isabella who rejected and her husband King Ferdinand who called him back. Ferdinand gets totally shafted in this movie, with no lines.
- Columbus is depicted as unique in navigating by the stars "as the Moors do", something which none of his men know how to do. In fact celestial navigation had been in use by westerners for over 200 years by this point and its methods widely known.
- Columbus states a mistake of one degree would put them off course by 600 leagues, in fact one degree is only 16 leagues.
- The crew in the movie gets restless when they haven't spotted land after nine weeks. Columbus' first voyage took five weeks.
- Pinzón is depicted as worrying about a mutiny among the crew while Columbus is steadfast and confident in their voyage. In fact, the reverse was true. The historical Columbus was somewhat paranoid about people doubting him and turning against him.
- Columbus promises 10,000 maravedis ($650US today) to the first man to sight land. In fact, this reward had been promised by the Crown, and after Rodrigo de Triana spotted land Columbus claimed he'd already seen it the night before so he could claim the reward.
- The first sign of land was a mysterious light spotted the night of 11 October. Land was sighted at 2 am, 12 October, but Scott has it later in the evening, near sunset, with fog enshrouding Guanahani (San Salvador Island) so its reveal can be mysterious and dramatic.
- The Lucayan people are depicted with long hair, but Columbus recorded in his journal that they kept it cut short, except in the back.
- In the movie, Columbus' journal of 21 October states that if the natives are to be converted it will be with persuastion, not force, and that they should be treated with honor, respected and that pillaging and rape will be punished.
Conversely, the real Columbus' journal of 12 October reads "they ought to make skilled servants, for they repeat whatever we tell them" -- Columbus wrote this after discovering that the Lucayans were often attacked by the mainland to be taken as slaves. In the same entry he writes "they can be very easily made Christians, for they seem to have no religion," and noted their lack of advanced metallurgy, writing "I could conquer the whole of them with 50 men, and govern as I pleased."
- The Lucayans are shown with gold nose rings and necklaces, and when Columbus inquires of the source of gold they are lead to Cuba. In history it was their gold earrings which piqued his interest and so he took some of them prisoner (this is glossed over by the movie) and headed to Cuba, which he named Juana, on 28 October.
- Pinzón is shown with syphilis in Cuba, which he will bring back to the Old World and die of, but he is not shown getting it - the only way being by banging the natives.
- Pinzón is shown landing with Columbus on Hispaniola (Haiti) on 5 December, still sick. In actuality he had disobeyed orders from Columbus and set off on his own on 21 November in search of more plentiful gold, landing at Hispaniola seperately in the Pinta, while the Niña and the Santa María went on without him.
- Columbus asks permission of the Taino chieftain Guacanagaríx, cacique of the Marien, to leave 39 men behind to build a fort and stay until he returns. The true reason for this was that on 25 December the Santa María ran aground and was abandoned and the Niña did not have room for all the men.
- The movie shows all three boats returning, but it was material from the abandoned Santa María that was used to construct the settlement La Navidad.
- The movie completely ignores Columbus' 16 January encounter with the Ciguayos of the Samana Peninsula who were the only natives to attack the Spanish, killing two of them. As mentioned earlier, it also ignores Pinzón's mutiny, and the reconnection of the Pinta with the Niña on 6 January. Pinzón was furious that Columbus had left 39 men behind, convinced that they would be killed or otherwise die. Columbus threated to hang him for insubordination.
- The movie also ignores the 25 Taino prisoners Columbus took, of which only six survived the trip back to Spain, although they are shown with him in the Spanish court when he returns, but the question of their consent in coming along is lampshaded.
- Due to a storm, the Pinta and Niña were seperated, with the Pinta reachng Pelos on 15 March 1493, while the Niña landed at Lisboa (Lisbon) in Portugal. Columbus controversially spent a week with King João II (John II) before carrying on to Spain.
- Columbus is shown bringing tobacco to the Spanish court - in the form of smoking a TOTALLY MODERN TIGHT ROLLED CIGAR! The tobacco smoked in Hispaniola was smoked in a pipe, and not brought back to Spain until the 1520s. Rodrigo de Jerez brought his habit back to his hometown and was imprisoned by the Inquisition because "only the Devil could give a man the power to exhale smoke through his mouth." Modern cigars would not exist until the 1800s.
- Columbus describes the religion of the "Indians" in terms of "God and Nature as one" in a very '90s New Age idealistic appropriation of Native culture kind of way -- as noted earlier the historical Columbus felt the Taino had no religion and thus could be easily converted, indeed this was one of the primary rationales of Spanish colonization and exploration -- to spread the word of God.
In fact, the Taino had a polytheistic religion with two main gods -- Yucahu, god of the crops, and Atabey his mother, goddess of water and fertility. There were also many other minor gods and a fairly developed mythology.
- Columbus' second voyage is described as comprising 17 ships and 1,500 men. It was 1,200.
- Columbus' brothers Bertomê and Giacomo (Bartholomew and Diego) are depicted as unwilling to go along and govern with Columbus in Hispaniola, but in fact it was Bertomê the mapmaker who devised with Christoffa the entire West Indies scheme.
- Bertomê actually missed the boat on the second voyage and had to go on his own voyage in 1494 to meet Columbus, where he was made governor of Hispaniola in Columbus' absence. Both brothers were in fact fiercely loyal to him, rather than what is portrayed here.
- Columbus' second voyage returned to Hispaniola on 22 November 1493, but the movie has this as 28 November for some reason.
- Adrián de Moxica is shown with Columbus landing at the second voyage, but he in fact did not join him until the third voyage.
- Columbus says "there will be no revenge" for the slaughter of the La Navidad settlement. He states that the Taino outnumbering them 10 to 1 as a reason not to start a war, and that they do not know which tribe to attack, and that they did not come to start a crusade. This is in STARK contrast to the true events, and this is the point where the movie takes a real turn away from history.
Columbus felt a force of 50 men could conquer all the Taino with no problem. Columbus inquired with his ally Guacanagaríx of the Marien and found him no to blame but rather the chief Caonabo of the Jaragua. Columbus then established a new settlement, La Isabella, and ordered the following as retaliation:
Every Taino over 14 years old was to deliver a quota of gold to the Spanish settlers every month. If this tribute was not delivered, their hands were to be cut off and they were to be left to bleed to death.
- Adrián de Moxica is depicted as cartoonishly evil.
- Nowhere is it mentioned in history that the plans for La Isabella or Santo Domingo (the movie is vague on which settlement this first town is supposed to be) were based on those of Leonardo da Vinci. This is just a goofy historical wink at the audience moment, although it is true da Vinci did draw up plans for an "ideal city" in 1488 (as did many Italian architects of the period), however implementing them in Hispaniola would have been difficult. Also, da Vinci was in Milan when he designed those plans, from 1482-1499, not Firenze (Florence).
- Columbus mentions in his journal in the movie that by adapting to the Taino diet "meat is only a memory for us," another of the movie's over-idealizations of native culture. After all, if they don't hunt and don't make war, then why do they have archers who can shoot birds with great accuracy? In actuality the Taino ate many meats: hutias, worms, lizards, turtles, birds, manatees and of course as Islanders they were very skilled fishermen -- although their main staple was the crop cassava.
- MORE CIGARS!
- The Spanish are shown collecting the gold quota from the Taino, but the origins of this quota, the mines, etc. are not shown. This is similar to the film's overall strategy -- showing all the bad stuff Columbus did as happening, but not showing him actually doing it -- thus leaving him blameless.
- Moxica is shown eating watermelon, a fruit native to Africa. No way he brought it with him unless they had refrigerators those ships.
- Moxica is shown initiating the "chop off their hands" policy and everyone reacts like WTF, including Columbus. As mentioned earlier, this was Columbus' own policy.
- When Moxica is arrested he says the Spanish have been there for four years, which makes the setting the city of Santo Domingo and also means the second and third voyages of Columbus have been conflated -- the second return to Spain and the third expedition skipped.
It was during this crucial absence from Hispaniola that most of the anger against Columbus fermented -- Christoffa had left in August of 1494, and against the explicit orders of Isabella took 1,200 of the Taino's rival tribe, the violent Caribs, as slaves to be sold in Spain.
This was because there was simply not enough riches of gold in the New World, and the voyages needed to be paid for somehow. Slavery of conquered peoples was standard practice for Portuguese explorers, and Columbus assumed it was the same for the Spanish. It was not. 200 of the Carib died on the way back, and Isabella was pissed.
Because it was illegal to enslave Christians, Columbus made it illegal in Hispaniola to baptize the natives, desite the spread of Christianity being one of the project's intended goals.
- Columbus was away for many years, returning for his third voyage on 30 May, 1498. He had left Bartholomew in charge, but during this time a man named Francisco Roldan had revolted and founded a rival regime with about half of the Spaniards.
- The goal of the third voyage was to bring supplies to Hispaniola and to search for the still unfound mainland of Asia -- although Columbus was convinced Juana (Cuba) was a peninsula of Cathay (China). Meanwhile a mission by Amerigo Vespucci had left in May 1497 but had not yet returned -- breaking the previously held monopoly of Columbus.
Vespucci landed at Coyana and discovered the Amazon River, becoming the first European to visit the mainland continent of America, which bears his name. He would return in October of 1498 and be made chief navigator of Spain in 1508.
- Meanwhile King Henry VII of England sent the Genoese sailor Zuan Chabotto (John Cabot) to cross the sea as well on 2 May 1497, despite a papal decree that all new lands west of the Azores were claimed for Spain.
Chabotto made landfall at what is now called Cape Bonavista in Newfoundland on 24 June 1497, returning in August. His second voyage would be lost at sea in 1499.
- Anyways, Columbus would discover Trinidad and Tobago on 31 July 1498, then explore the coast of South America until 12 August. Since Columbus still firmly believed North America was Asia, he considered South America a new continent, positioning it in his head as being roughly in the position of Australia relative to Asia.
- He arrived back at Hispaniola on 19 August 1498 to discover the rebellion. Although he initially resolved the situation peaceably, a second revolution was initiated by Adrián de Moxica, who had lead several expeditions for Spain to India in the 1480s. Columbus had Moxica's revolt violently put down, and Moxica was hanged.
- AND NOW BACK TO WHERE WE LEFT THE MOVIE! In the film, the rebellion is depicted as the natives against Columbus in retribution for Moxica's cruelty, before Moxica uses the fighting and confusion to attack Columbus as well. In reality, it was a revolt of the Spanish settlers who were upset that Columbus had lied to them about the gold and were disgusted by his brutal methods as a governor. That said, Moxica's revolt probably did find plenty of support among the Taino.
- Moxica is depicted as committing honourable suicide by jumping off a cliff, when in reality as noted earlier, Columbus had him hanged. The other revolters are shown being strangled until dead, however.
- A priest in the film complains that Columbus treats "Christians equally with heathen savages", when as noted earlier the only reason Columbus let them remain heathen savages was so it would be legal to enslave them.
- Santo Domingo, which the movie has somewhat conflated with La Isabella, is shown being ravaged by a hurricane in a very corny -- like EXTREMELY corny -- "wrath of God" type sequence. While this did happen, it was not until 1502, after Columbus was arrested. The same hurricane killed Francisco de Bobadilla, who has not properly arrived in the story yet. A hurricane did destroy the settlement of La Isabella in 1495, and its failure and abandonment let to the 1498 establishment of Santo Domingo, the first European-built city of the New World.
- Gabriel Sanchez, the Royal treasurer, is shown in the film to turn against Columbus for no real reason. He is shown reporting the colony's various failings to Isabella, and makes a big point of how Columbus forced nobles to work and treated Spaniards and Indians as equals -- when in reality the nobles sat back and had Taino slave labor do all the work. What really horrified Isabella was in fact Columbus' tyranny of the natives -- when she had given him explicit orders to befriend them, to convert them, and not to enslave them.
- Sanchez is depicted as learning of the failure of Santo Domingo from a discontented priest. In fact, it was from Columbus himself that the Crown learned of the failures in Hispaniola. By October 1499, Columbus was exhausted by recent events and wracked with arthritis and opthalmia. He requested a royal commissioner be sent to assist him, so the Catholic Monarchs setn Francisco de Bobadilla -- depicted here as a judge and a sycophant of Gabriel Sanchez with a grudge against Columbus, in reality a member of the military Order of Calatrava.
- Bobadilla arrived in August 1500, having been appointed to replace Columbus as governor and investigate accounts of his brutality.
- Bobadilla disappoints Columbus in the movie by reporting to him of the discovery of the mainland by Amerigo Vespucci "weeks ago". However this had happened in 1497 before the third voyage, and was already known to Columbus by this time. That said, it is true that Columbus was very resentful of Amerigo, accusing him of stealing his legacy and reputation - Columbus had naturally wanted to call the continent of (South) America Columbia, but at least a nation in the region would one day be named after him!
- The movie then cuts to January 1501 where Columbus is imprisoned in the very German/Disney-esque "Prison Castille". In reality, Columbus was sent back to Cadíz in chain on 1 October 1500, and spent only a month and a half in prison.
- Bobadilla's investigation had testimony from 23 people, supporters and detractors of Columbus alike, whom all said atrocities took place, such as:
- Cutting a corn thief's nose and ear's off and selling him into slavery.
- Parading a woman naked in the streets and cutting her tongue off for implying the Columbus family was of ignoble birth.
- Parading the dismembered bodies of the slaughtered rebelling natives through the streets to discourage further rebellion.
- Rape, torture and mutilations.
- Death and desperation: mothers so starved they could not breastfeed newborns, a massive infant mortality rate, a mining program enforced so that women did not see their husbands for eight months at a time. This and the other deaths caused the birth rate and population to plummet. The real priest in Santo Domingo, Bartoleme de las Casas, estimated the Taino death toll between 1494-1508 at three million.
- Columbus was not allowed a defense, and he and his brothers were sent to Spain in chains and jailed at Cadíz.
- In 1501, Columbus' son Fernando is shown as all grown up, maybe 18 at the youngest, while in reality he was only 13 at the time - older brother Diogo is 22.
- Diogo is depicted all throughout the movie as being against his father's journies, when in reality he succeeded his father as Admiral of the Ocean Sea and Viceroy and was the most adamant fighter for the restoration of his father's titles after he was arrested and disgraced. Fernando went on one voyage (the fourth) and hated it and stayed home to be a scholar.
- Columbus asks Isabella to be allowed to return as he as still never seen the mainland, and Isabella says yes so long as he does not take his brothers. In reality the rationale for the fourth voyage wasn't the mainland, which Amerigo Vespucci had found but that by now had been claimed for Portugal (in April 1500 by Pedro Cabral) -- and Columbus did in fact take Bartholomew and Fernando on the trip. The real rationale for the fourth voyage was to find a passage through to Asia, to Cathay and Cipangu, to the gold and spices and riches that were supposed to be the whole point! The real punishment was that all of the wealth and titles of "Cristóbal Colón" were taken, and he could no longer be governor of any lands.
- In the scene with his mistress, Columbus claims he does not need riches -- yet he spent the rest of his life, as did his son Diogo, petitioning the Crown to have his title and his 10% of profits restored to him.
- The film seems to skip Columbus' fourth voyage of 1502-1504, to show Columbus as an "old man" in 1506 -- in reality he was indeed aged to white hair and infirmity by this point due to his many diseases. It is implied in the film that he has lost prestige and legacy to Amerigo Vespucci, which is something that the Columbus family did indeed claim -- but then the Columbus family were a bunch of dicks anyway.
- A scene where a priest at Salamanca lectures on the geography of the New World seems to confuse Santo Domingo as being a seperate place from Hispaniola, when in fact it is a city on that island.
- Columbus' fourth voyage, in which he went to Panama and learned from the native population of the Pacific Ocean (and thus the way to China at last), was shipwrecked on Jamaica and denied rescue by the new governor of Hispaniola, impressed the natives by correctly predicting a lunar eclipse and thus convincing them he was a sorceror, then escaped and returned safely to Spain through a hurricane that destroyed ALL his enemies in Santo Domingo --- is only covered in a brief one sentence note at the end.
- Columbus died in Spain on 20 May 1506, at 54 years old, of chronic arthritis.
